Imaginary friends

About a month ago, in my post "Contented dreams," I wrote about how I think something that helps me maintain some inner peace is that even if my reality is not meeting my emotional needs, my unconscious mind meets my emotional needs through my dreams.  The dreams are not in my control, and often I don't even remember them.

But it's not only that.  I also impact my state of mind through my conscious thoughts, my daydreams.  When I go to bed at night, I imagine that there is someone in bed beside me.  I lie on my side, and he is behind me, with his arm around me.  In that arrangement, I don't see him, I don't have to imagine what he looks like, who he might be.  All I have to imagine is that someone is there for me.

I think it's good, it's good to be able to stir up feelings of contentedness just by imagining what my life would be like.  We humans need to feel loved in order to function in a healthy manner, yet our environment does not always provide the love we need.  Therefore it's useful to be able to stir up feelings of being loved.

I think that's something people sometimes get out of religion.  They imagine a deity who loves them, and it does them good, to imagine that.

I think people imagine being loved by spouses, lovers, gods, parents, and other family and friends.  It's interesting to think about the different things people might imagine.  It's interesting to realize that what I imagine now might not be the same thing at different times in my life.

My being loved fantasy is nearly always about a husband or boyfriend, not about deities, parents, etc. That is what it has been about as long as I can remember, even when I was a kid I think.  Nowadays it is about a generic man, not about a particular individual, because I don't think there really are any real people I can count on to be there for me.  I think at times in the past, I imagined specific individuals.

I think my being loved fantasy is less varied than my erotic fantasies.  While my being loved fantasy usually takes place in bed with a generic man, my erotic fantasies may take place in bed, on floors, or in forests, and may be with a generic man or a specific individual.  And if it's a generic man, there are several different types of generic men who may be involved in an erotic fantasy, while a being loved fantasy is pretty much always the same type of generic man.