I usually have content dreams. Actually two recent nights in a row, I had dreams of anxiety, but usually I don't so much. Sometimes it seems that my dreams are what keep me content. That is, when my real life does not fulfill my emotional needs, then I fulfill those needs while I sleep. And because those needs have then been fulfilled, I can go through life with a sense of okayness.
Last night I dreamed that I went to sing with a chorus. It was big, like a hundred people. They were an established group, and I was going for the first time. The leader of the chorus was someone I know in real life, who in real life is a musician, but not a leader of choruses.
I was sitting beside the chorus leader. It was like the chorus was in an auditorium, and she and I were on the stage. I had brought two books that had the songs I most like to sing, and the chorus was singing all the songs that I like. I mean, their repertoire just happened to coincide with the songs I've been singing since I was a kid.
At the end, the chorus leader hugged me and said, "It was fun singing with you."
Now, I am not a good singer, and this was true in the dream as well. So what the chorus leader was telling me was that it didn't matter about singing ability, that my company was what mattered, and my company was fun.
That's what I needed to hear, as can be seen in the blog post I wrote last night when I was depressed. And today, I was not depressed.
Now my depression has a lot to do with fatigue, and sleep helps with fatigue, but it seems that sometimes sleep does more -- it brings me dreams that fulfill my emotional needs.