Two of my siblings have it. This thing where they are surrounded by people offering to help them, offering them jobs, offering them a place to live, offering them a ride.
I don't have it. For me, I work really hard and I still don't get anything. When I was unemployed, I was applying for jobs all the time of course, but also I thought I'd do some volunteer work. I thought it would be good for me to be doing something of a professional nature. It would help me be more happy and confident. But no one wanted me! Even when I was offering my services free of charge, no one would take me.
My life feels like that a lot of the time. That me trying to do anything is going against the grain. That the only time I don't feel the world is working against me is when I'm home alone reading and writing, or when I'm wandering outside looking at trees. Inside or outside, the only time I don't feel the world is working against me is when I'm in solitude.
People always say it's my fault. They always say, "You work too hard," "You worry too much," "You think too much," and "You should be more like your sister."
I'm not my sister. Yes, I know the world loves my sister. Yes I know the world doesn't love me. But this is who I am. World, I will not bend to you. I will not try to be my sister. Because my job is to try to be me.