Culture

What is  my culture? We Americans of English descent are discouraged from embracing our cultural identity.  Any thought in that direction is considered to be racist, supremacist.  We are encouraged to embrace cultural celebrations focused on cultures such as Native American, Latin American, African, African American, Irish, Italian, German, Polish, Ukrainian, and Armenian.  We are pressured to love such things. If we don't love them, we are considered racist.

We are told that as white Americans, one of the things that is wrong with us is that we see the way we are as the norm, rather than as one of many possible cultural expressions.  However, we aren't allowed to think otherwise, as we get called racist if we embrace our own cultural identity.

My sister lives in Brazil, and brought her Brazilian fiance to visit her family and friends in the northeastern United States.  He was eager to learn about our culture.  Do we even know what our culture is?

As we ate oatmeal for breakfast, she explained, "Oatmeal is a traditional New England breakfast.  Some people eat it every day.  It's good for the cold weather because it stays warm in your tummy until lunch."

What foods are associated with my culture?  The things that come to mind are associated with particular occasions or regions, foods like cranberry sauce, baked beans, pumpkin pie, Boston brown bread, and New England clam chowder.  But the things we eat every day, that's what our culture really eats.

Breakfast: cold cereal with milk; toast with butter or jelly; bagel with cream cheese; orange or grapefruit juice; half a grapefruit; eggs; bacon; muffins; coffee.

Lunch: sandwiches with cold cuts, cheese, lettuce, and tomato.

Supper: chicken, beef, fish, potatoes, rice, bread, rolls, pasta, vegetables.

Summer celebrations: barbecue hot dogs and hamburgers; potato chips; potato salad; soda; beer; cookies; brownies; corn on the cob; watermelon.

Fall, winter, and spring celebrations: turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, peas, squash, cranberry sauce, pie.

Many of these foods are not foods I like to eat.  That's because I'm describing the overall white American culture.  People in that culture do things I don't do, like watch television, go to malls, and play computer games.  I have always lived in this culture.  To some extent, it is my culture.  But I have also always lived in a subculture which is a better match for my preferences.  I'm not sure there's a good name for this subculture.  Many people around me identify as "folkies," but I don't think an interest in folk music is mandatory.  I think "crunchy granola" is a more encompassing term, though it is rather awkward and silly.

This subculture includes interests such as:

• Folk music and folk dance, especially as a participant.
• Food: legumes, whole grains, vegetables, fruits, organic, locally grown, not overly processed, not too much sugar.  
• Beverages: water, juice, tea (herbal and non-herbal), coffee, beer. No soda.
• Sustainable living, permaculture, organic gardening, Transition movement, renewable energy, composting, bicycling.  
• Low-tech outdoor recreation such as walking, kayaking, and cross country skiing.
• Egalitarian ideals.
• Books, learning, education, science.
• Atheists, agnostics, humanists, pantheists, pagans, liberal Christians, Quakers, Unitarian Universalists, Jews, and Buddhists.
• An aversion to large corporations, complex technology, and highly commercialized environments.  No eating at McDonald's or shopping at WalMart.
• Alternative medicines, herbal remedies.  

My culture identity is a combination of different things.  My roots reach back to England and Ireland, so traditions from those places are a part of my past.  My ancestors came to New England from England in the 1600s and from Ireland in the 1800s, so my culture includes the traditions of New Englanders of Irish and English descent.  I have lived in the northeastern United States all my life, so that is the backdrop for everything I've learned and experienced.  I grew up in the "crunchy granola" subculture I've described, and have chosen to continue to live within this subculture.  

These are my roots, the traditions from which I come.  This is my culture. This is who I am.  These roots are to be honored and celebrated.  That does not mean my culture is better than any other.  It does not mean that people from my culture never did anything bad.  But being a druid means understanding yourself as connected to your land, your history, and your tribe.  

Heritage

My friend seems to think that being interested in my ancestors makes me a bit of a white supremacist.  I find that in American society today, we are encouraged to celebrate African, Latin American, Native American, and Asian cultures.  We are to a certain extent allowed to celebrate Irish, Italian, Greek, and Armenian culture.  But it's frowned upon at times to embrace the 4 centuries we have of white American culture, or English culture.

I think humans have an instinct to take pride in their heritage.  Adopted children want to know about their birth parents.  I feel very fortunate that my grandmother has told me about her memories of her parents, grandparents, and great grandparents.  I identify with stories of Quakers because I grew up Quaker and my ancestors were Quaker.  I'm more interested in New England history than in history of other parts of the U.S. because that's where I grew up and where my ancestors grew up.  I'm interested in England, Scotland, and Ireland because that's where my ancestors are from.

In high school, my Latin teacher taught us not only the Latin language, but also something about the history and culture of people who spoke it.  She liked the culture.  I did not find in myself the same fascination she seemed to feel.  Many years later, I realized that she is of Italian heritage.

I'm interested in the people I see as my forebears.  It's not a rational thing.  It's not like I learn something about my heritage and then decide to be interested in that.  It's instinctive.  Certain things draw me and certain things don't.  I may have ideas about what I ought to be interested in (including my culture telling me I ought to be interested in African, Latin American, Native American and Asian cultures).  But there's clearly a difference between what I tell myself what I ought to be interested in, and what  my instincts draw me to.

My interests are not exclusive to what I perceive as my heritage.  I like Ethiopian food and Andean music.  Nor am I drawn to everything that I know to be in my heritage.  I am drawn to Quakers because I come from a long line of Quakers.  But I also have ancestors who were Catholic, Methodist, and Baptist, and I'm not drawn to that at all.

Is it wrong to embrace our cultural heritage?  No, I don't think it's wrong.  I just think we have to be careful that in liking our own heritage, we don't start to believe that our heritage is better than other heritages.  In my druid studies, I have read some things that seem to glorify druids and Celtic peoples above all others  (Peter Berresford Ellis, Ross Nichols, and Ellen Evert Hopman).  It's tempting to glorify our heritage.  We have to restrain ourselves, and remember that people of all cultures have both good and bad attributes.  We have to be careful, but there is also good to be found in embracing our heritage.  It gives us a path to learn history, values, music, crafts, healing practices, etc.  It gives us a way to be part of a community.  It gives us a sense of who we are.  It inspires us, gives us the courage to strive to be better.

Differences in responses to car accidents

Two stories I heard about how people reacted to car accidents:

1. In Florida, a woman rear ended a car that was stopped for a red light. When the two drivers got out and met each other, she said, "Why did this happen to me? I'm a Christian." My thinking is if she's a Christian, her concern should be for the welfare of the driver whose car she just hit.
2. In Woodstock, NY, after a collision, the two drivers got out and hugged each other. That sounds more like the kind of town I'd like to live in.

Flyover

Yet another example of how I'm culturally out of step with the people around me. I just don't see having a flyover by military aircraft as an exciting way to mark a big, celebratory occasion. To me it's just a reminder of how humans voluntarily bring death and destruction upon each other, not just as a few individual psychopaths, but on a mass scale, organized by respected governments. And they take my money to pay for it.

My people

I come from a family of New Englanders, Quakers, rural people, hippies, vegetarians, farmers, organic gardeners, and educators. Some have been activists. We are more concerned with the well-being of the world (including humans, animals, and the environment) than with the glory of our country. We value thriftiness and integrity. We wear things out thoroughly before discarding them, which can mean things like driving cars with non-functioning gas gauges, eating off chipped plates, and wearing clothes with holes in them. We live according to our values and could be role models for those who observe and appreciate, but we don't bring attention to ourselves. We assume other people are living according to their own needs, abilities, and preferences, so we don't tell them they ought to live differently. We take what life brings us and make the best of it more than we fight the people who don't behave as we would wish them to. We avoid wealth and prestige. We seldom know what the latest fashions are. We are more troubled by pushy people than by taciturn people. In fact, we tend to be taciturn ourselves. We like to read. We are not good at singing, but we like to do it anyhow. We are not particularly handy with things like carpentry and machinery. We think that people who aspire to be investment bankers or soldiers are weirder than people who are imprisoned for their activism or people who choose to live without plumbing. We are rugged, outdoor people, but sometimes our ruggedness is tempered by illness. We are proud to be out of step with the mainstream.

Quiet way

One of my gifts is the ability to match, to find for people just the information, opportunity, or person that fulfills their need. I do this for people all the time. I do it for my job and in my free time. Recently I was feeling bad because someone was showing gratitude for the destination to which I matched them, but seemed to have no thought to the fact that I was the one who got them there. That's why it resonated with me when I was reminded of something that my grandmother wrote in in 1939: "Annice Carter will keep everyone happy in such a quiet way that no one will know who is doing it." My grandmother could see Annice's gift. My grandmother also saw it when a relative was having a problem. She shared a few carefully chosen words with the right person in order to get the problem attended to. She is not the one attending to the problem, but she is the one who set things in motion. My grandmother's gift is to see, to connect, to facilitate, to appreciate. That's my gift to0. It's a gift that doesn't get as much recognition as some others, such as adventurousness, risk-taking, and charisma, but it's a gift that contributes something to the world.

Good listeners

I think a lot of the things that irk me boil down to people not being good listeners. It's not just about being quiet long enough to let me talk. It's about whether people can bend their minds enough to see people for themselves, or whether they just see their own pre-conceptions when they look at other people. Sometimes people are too eager to put everything into pre-determined categories rather than letting them bloom as they are. Sometimes people have certain ideas of what people are like and what people should do, and they don't seem to grasp that those ideas don't apply to everyone. They give me advice, as if the reason I do things the way I'm doing them is because I'm ignorant rather than because I choose to.

My parents and most of my relatives convey that people should be who they are, should follow their own paths. It's not that they like everything everyone does, but that when others are different, they accept that they diverge from them rather than trying to define or change them. I value people who have that sort of outlook, and remain aloof from those who do not.

Links in a chain

Over the years, a few people I once considered my friends have told me, "You should be more like your sister." The implication was that I should be more adventurous. But that's not how I see things. The way I see things, we each have our own path, and the thing to do is to follow one's own path. My sister is the ultimate traveler while my mother is the ultimate homebody, but they are the same because both are following their own paths. My sister's life is more glamorous than my mother's, but glamor is irrelevant. Whether one's life is glamorous has little bearing on whether one is being true to oneself and living up to one's potential.

I feel that my grandmother, my mother, my sister, and myself are a chain of women across the generations. Even though our lives are very different on a superficial level, we are all carrying on the same tradition. We carry on the tradition of striving to follow our own paths rather than conforming to expectations. We also carry on the tradition of being the kind of person who would never say to someone, "You should be more like ____." Instead, we are the kind of person who says, "It's wonderful that you are yourself." We view others in a compassionate, respectful way. Although we recognize the validity of diverse viewpoints, we are selective about which people we become close to. We are committed to our family and those we have chosen as friends. We encourage the people in our lives to follow their own paths rather than telling them how they should be. We live life heartily and with integrity, but also diplomatically. We don't put up a fight against others, we just go our own way. The people in my family are role models to me not because of the number of adventures they have but because of the way they follow the path that is true for them, regardless of its glamor or adventurousness. I am one of them because I am true to me, and anyone who tells me I should be different from what I am is missing the boat.

Birthday parties

Yet another example of how I feel out of step with the people around me: mainstream people seem to think that if someone has a birthday, the people close to that person should throw a surprise birthday party. People in my family don't do that. Birthdays may not always be celebrated with a party, but if they are celebrated with a party, the person having the birthday is either the organizer of the party or has substantial input into it. To me that is much more sensible. That way, the birthday person gets to have things exactly how they want it. I wouldn't want someone throwing me a surprise party, because what if I was planning to do something else that day?

Folk Culture

At tonight's concert, the performers were Bridget Ball, Christopher Shaw, John Kirk, Kevin McKrell, and Brian Melick. In my world, they are all famous people, but I realize that most of the people outside of folk have never heard of them. They don't usually all play together, it was just for this show.

I was sitting there thinking there's something I don't like about Kevin McKrell. I decided maybe it was that he's part of the Irish music culture rather than part of the folk music culture. I like folk music for the sound of it of course, but I also like the culture. I like being around people who share my values. It's the same type of culture as the people who are Quakers or who go to food co-ops. Just as folk music is music to be sung by everyone rather than just by professional musicians, in Quakerism (at least the unprogrammed version), anyone can speak, rather than professional ministers. And in food co-ops, all the members share in owning the store.

It's not just the participatory nature that makes those things what they are. A group could be participatory but not share my culture and values in other ways.

This is not what this post was going to be about. I had three things to write about 1) musicians 2) values 3) the past year. This was going to be the post about musicians but it turned into the post about values instead. Before I get any farther astray with the values, let's get back to musicians. I was thinking that what bothered my about Kevin McKrell was that he was from a different culture or had different values. But it's not like being part of folk culture correlates exactly with me liking a musician. Bridget Ball, Christopher Shaw, and John Kirk epitomize folk culture. But of all the musicians performing, it was Brian Melick I'm the most excited about. For some reason, I don't think of Brian Melick as epitomizing folk culture as much as the others. He just doesn't have that crunchy granola vibe or something. However, it seems logically that I should think of him as folky, in that he does get people involved in making their own music. He teaches people to make drums.

Anyhow, the reason I like Brian Melick has a lot to do with the personality that he shows on stage.

So my conclusion is that my liking a musician has a lot to do with who they seem to be as a person. It's not necessarily about fitting my idea of the folk culture, it's just there has to be something that appeals to me.

Culture

A few years ago, I wrote something called One Kind of American about my culture. This was inspired by two things:

1. Some international students saying I don't seem like an American. My conclusion regarding this is that I am part of a particular American subculture. It's not that I'm not American, but that I don't necessarily fit the mainstream culture.
   
2. An international student suggesting that it would be nice to put together a booklet about everyone's various cultures, including things like recipes and holiday traditions. I wrote the piece as my entry to the booklet, so I included a recipe and some holiday information. The booklet never materialized though.

I have been reminded lately of the distinctions between my culture and mainstream culture, and how much I like being within my own culture.

• At work, we have these department lunches, where we either have food delivered from a place with no appealing food or go out to a different place with no appealing food. The other people in my department seem to think the food is very good. The problem for me is that the food fits mainstream culture, not my culture.
• It was nice talking to Meisha and Jesse about mousetraps. They share my view that of course the only kind to talk about is the kind which will allow you to catch mice alive and take them out to the country to live. Mainstream people think otherwise.
• In June, I went to the Clearwater festival. One of the things that struck me most was that it was nice being in my culture. The food served to the volunteers was tasty. They used sustainable energy to power the festival. The dresses for sale were beautiful. The people around made sense. I heard a mother telling a child regarding a spider, "We're the ones invading his home." Out in the mainstream world, it's not like that. The food that's served, the things for sale in stores, the conversations I overhear seem to tell me that I don't really fit in here.
  
• Reading the Haverford magazine, I see articles about things like alumni in the Peace Corps and alumni lawyers fighting against the juvenile death penalty. That's the kind of school I should be associated with. The RPI alumni magazine shows such different values. RPI has flyovers by military planes at commencement. And what's more, people think it's cool. I think Haverford would share my sentiment of "Why would you want to celebrate commencement with an instrument of killing?"
• There was an article about the largest passenger ship on the seas, as if that was an exciting thing to be on. Who would want that? That's even more unappealing than going to the mall, because for the mall, at least you only have to be there a few hours.
  

There's another culture I've always found myself in: the computer geek/science fiction/Monty Python/gaming culture. I've had relatives like that all my life, I work with such people, and I tend to find myself socializing with such people. I sat there last night listening to all that Monty Python flying around, and I wondered, "Why do I always end up in this type of crowd?" I tend to be drawn to people from that culture more than I'm drawn to people of my own culture, but I don't really fit in there.

I think I'd like for the people I'm surrounded by to include a significant number of both that geeky culture and my culture.

I think everyone is unique, and often just one subculture doesn't speak to all aspects of who a person is. That's why most people are a part of more than one group. So I probably would not want to be surrounded exclusively by people who fit into what I call my culture. But it would be better than being surrounded exclusively by people who don't fit my culture.

Everyone has a right to exist and every culture has its strong points, but sometimes one gets tired of feeling like a square peg in a round hole all the time. It's not good to completely cut yourself off from people who are different, but it's good to be able to be with your own kind once in a while. More than once in a while actually.