I think a lot of the things that irk me boil down to people not being good listeners. It's not just about being quiet long enough to let me talk. It's about whether people can bend their minds enough to see people for themselves, or whether they just see their own pre-conceptions when they look at other people. Sometimes people are too eager to put everything into pre-determined categories rather than letting them bloom as they are. Sometimes people have certain ideas of what people are like and what people should do, and they don't seem to grasp that those ideas don't apply to everyone. They give me advice, as if the reason I do things the way I'm doing them is because I'm ignorant rather than because I choose to.
My parents and most of my relatives convey that people should be who they are, should follow their own paths. It's not that they like everything everyone does, but that when others are different, they accept that they diverge from them rather than trying to define or change them. I value people who have that sort of outlook, and remain aloof from those who do not.