To educate the world

Three things from yesterday's NRP story After a Marine's Suicide, a Family Recalls Missed Red Flags strike me:

1. Military service is part of his family tradition, going back to the Revolutionary war, and yet his family had never heard of post traumatic stress disorder.  I thought everyone knew about PTSD.  Certainly a military family should know about it.  We need to educate people.
2. He joined the military because he wanted to help the world.  To me that shows a real lack of vision with regard to what sort of action might be helpful to the world.  We need to give our young people more helpful ways to help the world.  
3. A reader going by the name AddySun wrote a comment on the story.   Her husband was in the military. She told of how destructively he behaved, and said that she eventually left him.  Much as we want to help those we love who are troubled, we also have to take care of ourselves. She had to leave him to save herself.  I think if I were in that position, I would always feel there was something wrong with me for not being able to help him find his way back to sanity, for abandoning him.  When I look at her situation, I know she did the right thing, and I just have to remind myself to view myself in the same way that I view others.

I have been thinking the past few days how troubled I am about the ignorance in the world.  Politicians who are leading us sometimes are making their decisions based on wrong information (for example, Tom Akin, who believes, "If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”)

I am upset by parents who are cruel to their parents.  I wish parent education were a pre-requisite for childbearing.

But I don't think these things can be mandated.  I am thinking of Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge.  The solution is not to find the truth and impose it on people.  Because we can't be wedded to one version of the truth.  We have to keep our minds open, always learning.

So this is my cause, my passion: to make information available.  To tell military families about PTSD.  To tell young people about opportunities to help the world.  To tell people in harmful relationships that they need to take care of themselves.  To give policymakers accurate information about the topics on which they are making policies.  To teach parents about childrearing practices.  And not only to convey facts, but to convey something about the value of critical thinking and of always being open to new information, rather than being set in one view.  To give people all this information, but then to let them choose what to do with it.

Right the wrongs

Last June, a lot of media attention was given to Karen Klein, a bus monitor who was bullied by children on the bus.  Fourteen minutes of bullying was caught on video.  Seeing this video inspired people to donate money to Karen Klein.  She ended up with over $700,000, and she chose to create the Karen Klein Anti-Bullying Foundation.

What my friend said was, "Where's my money? I was bullied for a lot more than 14 minutes!"

He estimated that he was bullied at school 140 days a year for 2 hours each day for 7 years, and bullied at home by his brother 300 days a year for 2 hours a day for 7-8 years.  That comes to 1,960 hours of being bullied at school and 4,500 hours of being bullied at home, for a total of 6,460 hours of his childhood spent being bullied.

And that was all he mentioned in that context, but that's not the only suffering he has known.  He counted what his brother did to him as bullying.  But there was also the father who never approved of anything he did, who told him he didn't measure up to his older sister, who doled out physical punishment.

What doctors did to him when he was a young adult he doesn't say much about.  It was too traumatic to talk about.  There was something about a procedure which is usually done with anesthetic being done without anesthetic.  There was also something about them treating him as a freak, a spectacle.

There are the frequent migraines.  The knee joints that have hurt him since he was a toddler.  The two fingers that were hurt in two different injuries and have never been the same since.

But those are conventional medical problems that can sometimes be alleviated by medications.  They are nothing compared to the pain he experiences every day.  No clear diagnosis, though it's thought to be some sort of autoimmune disease.  Nothing to alleviate it.

People gave Karen Klein money because they felt she had suffered too much, because she deserved something good.  My friend too has suffered more than anyone should have to suffer.  The world is filled with people who have suffered bullying, harassment, intimidation, violence, illness, injury, and injustice.  How can we wrap them all in kindness? How can we right the wrongs?  I can't fix it all myself, but how can I be part of the solution? I help by being a friend to one person who has suffered. What else can I do? No one should have to suffer the things he has been through.

Seeking truth vs. seeking validation of pre-existing beliefs

The Friday before last, the news was all dominated by one thing.  I was taking a vacation day from work, too tired to do anything, just lying there listening to the radio, so I heard a lot of it.  One thing that I heard was Shankar Vedantam saying that when we hear about things like that, we frame it in terms of our pre-existing beliefs.  He talked about how after the Newtown shootings, some people focused on guns while others focused on mental illness.

Then my friend called me, ranting about how outraged he was that some people on the internet speculated that one of the Boston bombers was Sunil Tripathi.  It struck me how much that came from his pre-existing beliefs, that of all the things that happened, that was the only thing that he was going on about.  People say all kinds of stupid things on the internet, this was just one of many stupid things people say on the internet.  But to him, this was the most important thing.  More important than the bombing itself.  More important than the good things people did afterwards to help the victims of the bombing.  More important than the fact that the New York Post printed a photo identifying two innocent people as suspects.  More important than the fact that more reputable news media (such as NPR, which is what I was following) did a better job of presenting accurate reports.

The same set of events has different meanings to different people, depending on their pre-existing views.  People seem so wrapped up in proving their point.  They don't use research to search for truth.  They use research to search for evidence to back up what they already believe.

On Facebook, I see lots of posts that are about showing how stupid the other side is.  They imagine that everyone who disagrees with them is some monolithic other side, with no diversity or subtlety or reason, and then the post things putting down this imaginary other side.

A liberal posts a photo captioned, "If you believe your factory should not be subject to federal regulations,  then you should not get federal funds when it blows up."

A conservative posts an image that says, "The 2nd Amendment isn't subject to opinion polls."

Both of these statements include underlying premises about what the people on the other side believes. I think that they are painting the other side with a broad brush.  That offends me.  It seems like the goal should be to seek truth.  The goal should be for all of us to work together to learn how to thrive as the human race.

What I would like is to see everyone trained in rhetoric and logic.  For example, one device that is used is to present something as "what the government's not telling you," or "what the corporations aren't telling you," or "what the media's not telling you."  I think people respond to this.  They instinctively latch on to the idea of a cover-up.  But if they were savvy to the fact that this sort of phrasing is often used as a way to tap into people's emotions, then they could see past that part of it, and more clearly evaluate how much truth there actually might be to the claim.

What can I do? Can I help my community to seek truth?  In a way, it's what I've wanted to do my entire adult life.  In my 20's, I wanted to do research to figure out how best to address social problems.    I was concerned that the solutions people were throwing at poverty and violence were based on ideology, and I wanted to do research to find out what really would work.  In my 30's, I wanted to work in educational administration, to help shape schools into environments where student learning would thrive.  Now I am thinking of being a librarian, to preserve and pass on knowledge.  I still don't really know what exactly my niche is, but what has been consistent is that I want to contribute to a search for knowledge and wisdom.  In particular, I want to support the quest to learn how we humans can best live together in compassionate, just, and sustainable ways.

The kind of world I want to build

I've studied psychology, social work, and education. I studied these fields because I want to promote the positive development of people and communities. I studied these fields, and it seemed to me, sometimes they lost sight of these larger goals, and focused more on how to do things in a particular paradigm. For example, psychology focuses on alleviating depression and anxiety through psychotherapy. Social work focuses on addressing poverty and child abuse through government bureaucracy. Education focuses on increasing learning through the use of classrooms, lectures, and grades.

These are the issues I wish to address, but are there not other ways to address these issues? I don't want to compartmentalize learning to schools, happiness to psychotherapy, or economic well-being to government bureaucracy. I want to build communities in which all people are treated as valued community members who have something to contribute. I want people to treat each other with respect, kindness, and integrity. I want people to continually grow in wisdom, knowledge, and compassion.

My favorite colleges are Marlboro College and College of the Atlantic because I believe that they are trying to build this type of community. I admire Quakers because they make cherishing others a way of life. This is the kind of world I want to build. This is where I want to put my time, energy, and money.

My vision

A composer hears music in his head and writes it, so that it may be heard by the world. A painter sees a picture in her head and paints it so that it may be seen by the world. That's what doing something with one's life is -- bringing one's vision into reality. The vision that I have is broad. It is not something easily described or made real.

My vision has to do with people living peacefully according to certain values. The two main threads of my vision could be seen as environmentalism and human relations (especially in childrearing), but these are not two separate things to me. The vision is of a whole community, and there are many attributes which make the community what it is.

The vision that I have is of a world where people treat each other with kindness and respect. The earth's resources are used wisely. Energy comes from renewable sources, such as solar. Food is raised organically. People grow their own gardens and make things with their hands. People help their neighbors. Children are loved, and, like everyone, they are treated with kindness and respect. Children play outdoors and use their imaginations. Children are not inundated with materials things. They don't have plastic toys. They don't watch TV or play video games.

There is no single thing to be done to make my vision a reality. It will take many strands to weave this tapestry. I don't expect to bring this vision into reality for the entire world. Some people choose a different path. But I want to be a part of weaving into reality a community where this vision does exist, so that those who choose this path have a place to go. I don't know exactly how to bring this about, but in my life, I recognize the things that do and don't point the way to this vision. Some of the things which I've found as pointing the way to my vision include:

• Food: food co-ops, organic gardening, farmer's markets, community gardens, family farms, Fair Winds Farm
  
• Do-it-yourself: In addition to gardening, any groups that support any kind of do-it yourself activities, including cooking, carpentry, pottery, sewing, weaving, music, storytelling, dance, etc.
• Education: Montessori, Waldorf, Marlboro College, College of the Atlantic, Haverford College, Farm and Wilderness Camps, Hulbert Outdoor Center
• Communities: eco-villages, Monteverde
• Environment: Groups which support sustainable living, cleaning up pollution, and renewable energy.
  
• Supporting locally owned businesses.
  

El Salvador relief

A friend of mine is spreading the word about El Salvador flood relief. Below is the text of the flyer he has been distributing:

The situation in El Salvador is critical in six of the country's 14 departments (provinces) following torrential rains from Hurricane Ida and subsequent flooding and mudslides. As of Thursday evening, November 12, the confirmed death toll stood at 157 nationwide with 500 people missing just in the area of San Vicente. Some communities are without electricity or running water. More than twenty bridges have collapsed and road destruction has isolated many Salvadorans. The affected Salvadoran population is in need of food, clothing, bedding, water, hygiene kits, medicine, and shelter. We are calling out to our friends and supporters to assist us in our efforts to help those affected to rebuild their communities and their lives. Funds will be critical to both the emergency effort and subsequent rebuilding. Please contribute what you can and share with other concerned people who may be able to help.

All contributions are tax deductible and can be sent to:
US-El Salvador Sister Cities
P.O. Box 2543
Plattsburgh, NY 12901
e-mail and website for more information:
sistercities@gmail.com
www.elsalvadorsolidarity.org

My friend has chosen to direct funds to US-El Salvador Sister Cities both because he knows the people involved, and because they have a well-established relationship with an organization in El Salvador, CRIPDES, so they can direct assistance to El Salvador immediately. CRIPDES, the Association for the Development of El Salvador, is an association of 300 rural communities in El Salvador. CRIPDES strengthens and develops rural community organizing. You can read more about the Sister Cities/CRIPDES relief efforts at http://elsalvadorsolidarity.org/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=254&Itemid=65.

This is the organization that my friend recommends. However, if you want to contribute but only if you have the convenience of being able to do so online, there are organizations helping with El Salvador relief which accept online donations, including Oxfam America, Plan, and Save the Children.

Favorite charities, take three

I've written two posts in the past on my favorite charities. I would think that one would have been enough, yet here I feel compelled to do it again, as my interests have shifted. At least they shifted a little bit. Not a whole lot though, so it will actually be kind of repetitive.

• Helping people, international: AFSC, Oxfam, MercyCorps.
• Helping people, local: Joseph's House and Shelter, Unity House.
• Advocacy: Friends Committee on National Legislation, ACLU.
• Sustainable agriculture and renewable energy: I have not yet picked enough favorite charities in this category, so for now, it's just Capital District Community Gardens.
• Education: Again, I have not yet picked enough favorite charities in this category. This should include education around the world. In the U.S. it should include education for poor people and immigrants. It should include all levels, preschool through adult. In addition to academic material, it should encompass outdoor education and service learning. My area of expertise is higher education, so for the now, in this category, I've got Haverford College, Marlboro College, and College of the Atlantic.
  
• Support your local farmer's market, small businesses, public library, public radio station, and folk music venues. In my case, this includes Troy Waterfront Farmer's Market, Oliver's Naturals, Market Block Books, Troy Public Library, WAMC, WUMB, WMUD, and WMPG.
  

Favorite Charities, Take Two

In May 2007, I wrote a blog entry about my favorite charities, but there were too many of them, so I'm going to try to narrow it down. The origin of the thought was hearing about requests to donate to a charity "in lieu of flowers" in honor of dead people, and trying to figure out what charities I would want people to donate to for me. But it's really about more than that. It's about getting to what values are most important to me, because once I identify that, I can think that about how to live my life in service to those values.

I favor trying to grow the good things rather than trying to tear down the bad things. The values that are most important to me seem to fall into two general categories:

1. Community. I aspire to be a person who knits people together and spreads harmonious feelings. I like groups/institutions that emphasize integrity, community, egalitarianism, and participatory decision-making. I have experienced this type of community at Haverford and at Clearwater. Other places that probably also have this type of community are Marlboro College, College of the Atlantic, Waldorf schools (Hawthorne Valley School appeals to me), Sudbury schools, and Quaker schools. One thing about these schools and about Clearwater is that people can be a part of the community and then take the values they learned from it out into the rest of the world.
   
   Folk music can be used to inspire a sense of community. Pete Seeger has a gift for this. I also admire the way his grandson, Tao Rodriguez Seeger, shines a light on other people.
   
   I like libraries, because they try to give everyone equal access to information.
   
   People are diverse. It's natural to seek the company of people who share one's culture and values. I don't expect that all people will be comfortable in all groups. But we should respect and grant rights to all people. Morality should not be judged based on theology, wealth, or the number and gender of one's sexual partners. Instead, the measure of morality should have to do with whether we treat other people with respect, compassion, and integrity.
   
   HomoRadio is a radio show which enlightens people about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people.
   
   Oliver's Naturals is a restuarant which knits people together and spreads harmonious feeling. It also promotes organic, locally grown food, which brings me to my next item:


2. Sustainability. I like small business, organic foods, farmer's markets, food co-ops, simple living, and solar power. Many times supporting these things also includes supporting community. For example, I connect with local people when I go to the farmer's market or community garden.

Based on the above, my list of favorite charities/institutions includes:

• Haverford College (especially Quaker Student Scholarship Fund)
• Clearwater (especially funding for low income people to attend the festival)
• Your local public library
• HomoRadio
• Oliver's Naturals
• Fedco
  
• Capital District Community Gardens
• Troy Farmer's Market

Favorite charities

Sometimes when people get married or die, people are requested to make donations to charity in lieu of gifts (in the case of marriage) or flowers (in the case of death). I'm not planning to get married or die soon, but being the kind of person who likes to make lists, I was thinking of what charities would I want donations to go to in such a situation. I found there are many. I think I need to narrow it down to a more reasonable number, but for now, I'll just list them all.

As I think about this, I think most people I know aren't any richer than me. They need all the money they can get. So it seems to me it would be better for me to donate to these charities rather than to ask my friends to. And in fact, I do donate to many of them. So in the case of me getting married or dying, I'm not sure I'd want the people to give money to these charities. I'd rather they buy themselves a house or something, if they have money to be spending. In fact, if I suddenly got rich, I'd want to make sure all my friends and family were taken care of before I started giving money to my favorite charities.

So I'm not planning to die or get married soon, and even if I was, I'm not sure I'd ask for people to donate to charities, so there's no rational reason for me to list my favorite charities, but I like making lists of things, so here we go.

• Folk music/public radio: WUMB, WMUD, WMPG, National Public Radio, Clearwater festival, Old Songs, Folk Alliance, Dance Flurry Organization, supporting traditional music of the Andes.
• Organic, locally grown food: Capital District Community Gardens, Troy Farmer's Market, Regional Farm and Food Project, Honest Weight Food Co-op.
• Helping people locally: Joseph's House and Shelter, Unity House.
• Helping people around the world: Oxfam, MercyCorps, Habitat for Humanity, Peter M. Goodrich Memorial Fund, programs supporting environmentally sustainable rural life in Latin America.
  
• Education: Haverford College (especially financial aid, increasing the number of Quaker students, and the Center for Peace and Global Citizenship), Marlboro College, Quaker schools, democratic schools, Big Picture Schools.
• Outdoor recreation: Hulbert Outdoor Center, Farm and Wilderness Camps, building and maintaining rollerblading paths.
• Civil liberties: American Civil Liberties Union, LGBT rights.
• Green business: Co-op America
• Renewable energy
• Public Libraries

I find I tend not to list organizations I've worked at or otherwise been involved in. I think it's because I've been close enough to see their flaws, so it's hard to give my wholehearted support. The organizations I haven't been so close to probably have as many or more flaws, but I just haven't seen them yet.