For so long, I've felt weighed down by my responsibilities. Then I read Nimue Brown's post "Druidic Arts: Responsibility." Responsibility is not what weighs you down. Responsibility is what you choose to do about the demands upon you.
Many years ago, I read The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars by Stephen Brust. The book tells of an artist with a blank canvas. I read the book at a time when I faced a big decision in my life. To me, the book said that the future is a blank canvas, and you can do with it whatever you choose.
As I sit here now, I feel illness and fatigue. I want to be healthy and energetic. Normally, I try to proceed as if I am healthy and energetic. But responsibility means seeing the situation for what it is, and deciding what to do about it.
Today, I am not going to do what I was supposed to do. It's not because of my own initiative. It's because a friend told me, "You are sick. I have asked someone if he will cover for you, and he said yes." I accepted, because I knew it was what I needed.
It's good for me to accept the help of others, to let go of this independent streak that tells me that I have to do everything myself.
The sickness I have today is one that will get better. But however better I get, my energy will always be finite. I keep thinking of more things I want to do. The artist does not make a great painting by throwing all the paint onto the painting. The artist makes a great painting by making choices. I need to stop aspiring to do it all. I need to choose.