Thursday, June 28, 2012

Moments of contentment

I remember when I was in college, long talks. Not just with close friends, but you could just wander around and bump into people, and next thing you know, you have been talking for three hours. We talked about religion, morality, love, sex, gender roles, and I don't remember what else. Inspired by these talks, then I'd go write essays about the topics discussed, and then would go on to share these essays with whomever I got to talking to next.

I miss those days. I miss being able to talk to people who are on my mental wavelength.

I remember when I was in college, the frolicking. Skipping about the campus, climbing trees, rolling down hills, rolling in the autumn leaves, hugging the trees.

I miss those those days. I miss having friends who can be my playmates.

But today, I love the serenity of gazing at the sky.

Today, I am grateful for friends who help me. When I'm feeling too sick to even formulate what I need and who I can ask, I'm grateful for the people who step up and give me what I need, without my having to figure it out and ask for it.

I remember when I was in college, long talks and frolicking, but also, I remember when I was in college, despondency and alienation. Today, I am more even-keeled.

They say work hard and fulfill your dreams. I have not been able to make all my dreams come true. I think most lives are not constant perfection. I think it's not right to believe that all your dreams are supposed to come true. We take what we can get. We do the best we can to make our life what we want it to be. Sometimes, we have moments of contentment. I am grateful for moments of contentment.

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