Monday, July 9, 2012

Holding up the ceiling

Speaking of song lyrics, one song that has been coming to mind from time to time for a while is "So Heavy" by Susan Werner.

It's so heavy when you're holding up the ceiling
Ain't it lighter when you let the thing fall
Ain't it better having something you believe in
And ain't it heaven when you're never holding back at all

I'm still holding up the ceiling.  I haven't found a way to let it fall.  I haven't found a place where it's safe to never hold back at all, except maybe when I'm alone and at home.  

In "Hell No (I'm Not Alright)", written by Nanci Griffith and Maura Kennedy, Nanci Griffith sings with fury:

Did you really think you could be okay
To leave me stranded alone that day
Did you really think you could wait so long
To call me up to see if you're alright
Hell no, I'm not alright
You can talk all day and ask all night
Nothing's gonna change, no end in sight

I wish I could say that.  Inside, I thrash against my life.  But still I keep on holding up the ceiling.

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