What I do in my job is I collect information from some people and give it to other people. Except the people I'm trying to collect the information from don't give it to me.
Another thing I do in my job is organize events. That entails asking people to participate. Many don't want to participate.
So basically what I do in my job is pull teeth and bang my head against walls.
So I think I want a different job. I apply for jobs, but I don't get them. More head banging.
In "Grandma's Battle Cry," Faith Petric sings about how she has been marching against war since she was 10, and continues to do so in her 80s.
I made my friend angry when I said, "Hasn't she noticed that all that marching hasn't worked?"
The attitude I grew up with is I should pick what I want to do and go ahead and do it, regardless of whether the world hinders or helps. It's a Quaker attitude of doing what's right, regardless of whether it goes against societal trends. It's also the New England emphasis on independence and self-reliance.
But I think there's something to be said for going where we are welcome.
Once I had a friend who played tennis with a bunch of friends. I told him I would like to play too. He said he did not want me to join the group because it was no fun playing against beginners.
A few months ago, I joined the Morris dancers. I think it cuts into their fun, to adjust their practices to accommodate a beginner. But they never said that. They just kept telling me how well I was learning it, and how glad they were to see me.
The Morris dancers are also into pub singing. I told a friend from Morris dancing that I'd like to join the pub singing too. I told him I don't drink and I can't sing, but maybe I'll learn to sing. He said, "I like the way you think."
A far cry from the response I got from my tennis playing friend. I think someone who discouraged me from doing things never should have been called a friend. That was someone I spent time with, but not a friend, because friends support and encourage.
Some people believe that if things go wrong, it's a sign that you should not do a thing. Like if you lose your ticket, that's a sign you should not take that trip. I don't believe in signs. And certainly I've had trips that had rocky starts that turned out well once I got there.
But I'm tired of banging my head against walls. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know the right way. Maybe I should just keep sending out more resumes. But if a path beckons, I think there's something to be said for following it. I think I'll go pub singing. If I go where I am welcome, maybe I'll find room to blossom.