Thursday, February 19, 2015

Legacy

My brother was dedicated to animals.  He was on the board of a particular animal sanctuary.  After he passed away, people donating money in his honor funded a new animal lodging space at this sanctuary.  It is a fitting legacy for him.

But what about me? What is my cause?  What mark do I want to leave on the world?  While my brothers passion was animals, mine is humans.
  • I want to take care of my family.  If I had loads of money, I would set up funds so that my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews would have lifetime incomes.  I want my parents to be able to live in the homes of their choice for the rest of their lives, and to have any  help they need when they get too old to take care of themselves.  I want my nieces and nephews to be able to go to the colleges of their choice and pursue the careers of their choice.  My siblings are already well on their way with education and careers, but I want them to always be able to live out their dreams, and to take care of themselves and their families.
  • I want to preserve and pass on the stories of the past.  The lives of those who have gone before us are lost to us, except for the parts that are written down.  I have collected what I can of photos and stories from my relatives.  I want to compile all that I have into a family history book, to be passed on through the future generations.
  • I want to do something about the world.  There is so much ignorance out there.  There are things that are known about how to inspire humans to treat each other with respect and kindness and respect rather than with violence and cruelty, but this knowledge does not seem to be widespread.  People have simplistic notions that you can get people to do what you want by threatening them.  People have prejudices against various religions and cultures.  People don't understand the importance of sustainable living.  I want to spread the knowledge of how to live in harmony with humans and the earth.  
These are my grand ambitions.  But I am too tired to wash the dishes, let alone save the world.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Another chance to sleep

I got up too early.  Woke up early, couldn't get back to sleep, finally gave up and got up.  Probably I was too hungry.  Maybe I should have had more supper last night.  Maybe when I woke up early, I should have just eaten something filling and gone back to bed. 

What happened this time is what often happens -- I know I won't be able to get back to sleep until I eat, but I want to hurry up and go back to sleep, so I eat as little as I think I can get away with.  Often it isn't enough to allow me to sleep.

And so today I was sleep deprived, had trouble getting things done.

Well, okay, I always have trouble getting things done.

But today I attributed it to not getting enough sleep. 

A part of me condemns myself.  A part of me says being tired today is my punishment for not sleeping properly.  That part tends to either lecture myself that I had better shape up next time, or else just escape and give up.

That's not the druid way.  In my previous post about ethical principles, the first thing it says is, "Every action has a consequence."  So, if I don't get enough sleep, the consequence is I'm tired.  It's simple cause and effect.  Maybe tonight I will get enough sleep, and feel better tomorrow.  It's not about being punished for my wrong behavior.  It's just cause and effect.  Every day, I can choose my actions, and every day, I reap the consequences of those choices.

Athelia Nihtscada's ethical principles

As noted in my recent post, I read in Philip Carr-Gomm's book What Do Druids Believe? about Athelia Nihtscada's principles of druidry.  Just now I looked it up on google.  I found that the book's chapter called "Ethics and Values" was on the OBOD web site, on a page called Ethics and Values in Druidry II.   The ethical principles attributed to Athelia Nihtscada are: 
  1. Every action has a consequence that must be observed and you must be prepared to compensate for your actions if required.
  2. All life is sacred and all are responsible for seeing that this standard is upheld.
  3. You do still live in society and are bound by its rules.
  4. Work with high standards.
  5. Make an honest living.
  6. Be a good host as well as a good guest.
  7. Take care of yourself.
  8. Serve your community.
  9. Maintain a healthy balance of the spiritual and mundane.
  10.  Uphold the Truth, starting with yourself.
  11. Be sure in your convictions, particularly when judging or accusing someone, but also when debating. Ask yourself: are you really sure? Do you really know that this the case?
Mostly it sounds good to me, but the last one seems a little weird because it starts of saying "be sure," but what it ends up saying is more like don't be sure.  Or, don't make claims when you aren't sure of their truth.  

Resigning from Morris dance

January 24 I re-dedicated myself to druidry and began daily practice of meditation and movement (well, I did it 12 of the past 14 day).

February 2, I changed my Facebook cover photo from my Morris dance hat (I was wearing it at the time, but the main focus of the photo was on the hat, not on the rest of me) to apples hanging from an apple tree.

Those were the things I needed to do to lay the foundation.

I've been thinking about quitting Morris dance for a long time.  I know I told my aunt I might quit soon last May.  I don't think that was the first time I thought I bought quitting. 

With the druidry and the apples, I was free.  I didn't need to cling to Morris dance as the only meaningful thing in my life.

February 4 at midday was the first tai chi class in two months -- the class had been on hiatus for winter break.  I was exhausted afterwards.

February 4 in the evening was Morris dance practice.  My car was surrounded by a pile of snow that would have to be shoveled.

I couldn't bear it.  I was exhausted.  I couldn't bear to shovel the snow, let alone go out after shoveling. 

Finally, I plucked up my courage and resigned from Morris dance.

It was hard because I had to tell the people I was resigning.  It would have been easier if I could have just stopped showing up when I didn't feel like showing up. 

There are people who do a lot more activities than I do.  Some of the Morris dancers do a lot more things besides Morris dance. 

I feel like I should be able to do lots of stuff too.

I'm not other people.  I have to follow my own pace.

There's an expression "his eyes are bigger than his stomach," for someone who puts too much cake on their plate.  That's what I'm like with activities.  I'm eager to do it all.  I keep thinking, "Now that I've quit Morris dance, I can..."  I want to attend a Unitarian Universalist chuch, attend the Dances of Universal Peace, volunteer at the historical society, take institutional research classes, take library science classes, learn skate skiing, go on retreats, learn to play musical instruments, take Nia, visit the two small cities in which I dream of living, and visit my relatives. 

But first, I need to build my foundation.  I need to go to bed early, meditate, go on nature walks, read spiritual books.  I need to establish that solid foundation.  Then I can slowly add activities, but only to the extent that they don't interfere with that foundation. 

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

What Do Druids Believe by Philip Carr-Gomm

What Do Druids Believe by Philip Carr-Gomm is a short and easy to read introduction.  It's not a guidebook that will help you get started on your druid path.  Rather, it's something you read to decide whether you want to start to walk that path. If you do make that choice, you'll want more books to help you find your way.

The first four chapters had to do with what druidry is, and what its history is.  For me, that was pretty straightforward.  I liked the point at the end of the 4th chapter commenting on famous druids in the past few centuries.  Basically, it's a bunch of eccentrics.  Carr-Gomm says you might think that a spiritual movement needs its famous people to be pious, wise, saintly and so on, but when you look at the famous people from other paths who supposedly have those attributes, you find that they were eccentrics too.

One thing that I thought was interesting in the history was the connections with the Universalist and Unitarian churches.  

Chapter 5 tells what druids believe.  For me, that did not go down as smoothly as the preceding chapters, because there are things in there that I don't believe.

What it lists that I do believe
  • learning from experience rather sticking to doctrine
  • that life is spiritual
  • acceptance of diverse theologies and beliefs within druidry
  • reverence for nature
  • trying to grow in wisdom, creativity, and love
  • history and ancestors
  • trees
  • community
  • reverence for life
  • peace
  • interconnectedness of the universe
What it lists that I don't believe
  • existence of the Otherworld
  • reincarnation
  • Law of the Harvest
The book makes some very definitive statements about the things that I don't believe in.  "A cornerstone of Druid belief is in the existence of the Otherworld....Different druids will have different views on the nature of this Otherworld, but it is a universally held belief,"  and "although all druids would agree that physical death does not end our existence, there is no set of universally recognized Druid teachings that offer details."  If this were my first exposure to druidry, these statements might make me decide that druidry was not the path for me.

If I twist it to my own understanding, I can say I believe these things.  I can say that for the Otherworld, I believe that we can reach a transcendent state of mind, and for life after death, I can say that we live on in the legacy we leave behind -- our writings, the things we create, the things people remember about us.  But to me, that is stretching it too  much.  It is like when I attend a Christian service, I can re-interpret the words to a pantheist meaning, but the fact that I can find a way to accept the words doesn't  make me a Christian. 

The Law of the Harvest is that you reap what you sow.  I believe that it is often the case that if you are kind to others, you will have friends, and if you are cruel to others, you will find yourself alone.  However, it's  not always the case.  Sometimes your kindnesses are never repaid.  Sometimes bad things happen to good people. You get sick or injured.  People betray you.  That doesn't mean that you brought it on by doing a bad thing.

I like what he says about reverence: "Druids treat the body, relationships, and sexuality with respect and as sacred.  Reverence should not be confused with piousness or lack of vigorous engagement -- true reverence is strong and sensual as well as gentle and kind."

The next chapter talks about mysticism, shamanism, and magic.  It says that mysticism is connecting with deity and shamanism is exploring the Otherworld.  It talks about how the diversity of druidry means there is room for people interested in one but not the other.  But to me, both are predicated on the idea that there is something else out there.  To me, there isn't an Otherworld, there is only your own head, where you can enter a different state of mind.

I liked the discussion of magic.  He says that magic includes "adopting an attitude of awe and reverence towards life and the world," and "becoming aware of the creative power that we possess simply by being alive, and then consciously using that creative power in the service of our values and ideals.

Chapter 7 is on ethics and values.  There's a list of 11 principles of conduct from Athelia Nihtscada.  They seem like something I could live by.  I could post them in my home, and meditate on them.

Chapters 8-12 went down pretty easily for me, same as chapters 1-4 did.

Chapter 9 mentioned that birch is often the first tree that grows when a forest is starting, so in ogham divination, it is associated with birth and beginnings.  That sparked in me an interest in learning this divination system. It is an interest that has been sparked other times in the past.  I don't believe that cards foretell the future or anything like that, but that it's a way of tapping into  different part of the self.  He says this at the beginning of chapter 9, talking about ritual: "A psychologist would say that this appeals to the non-dominant hemisphere of the brain that processes art and music as opposed to logic, language, and mathematics.  A mystic would say that ritual opens us to an experience of the spiritual dimension of life."

In chapter 8, Carr-Gomm describes some of the diverse types of druid practice.  One thing he mentions is a daily ritual "to connect with the energies of Earth, Trees, Sea, and Sky."  I want to think about that combination.  I've heard about earth, sea, and sky, and I've heard about earth, air, fire, and water.  In my own Sphere of Protection ritual, I've chosen sun, earth, air, trees. 

Chapter 8 also says, "The  most valuable and life-changing practice of all, though, evolves gradually and simply as a different way of being in the world.  Through working with Druid teachings and cremonies, changes occur in our attitudes, feelings, and behaviour which enable us to live more and more frequently in alightnment with our sense of purpose and meaning, and with an awareness of the inherent spirituality of all life."

I don't think this is unique to druidry.  It is what we get from any spiritual path. 

Overall, I liked reading the book.  There were a few things that were maybe a little different from what I've read before, but most of the material was familiar.  Still, I like reading this kind of stuff.  I find some spiritual inspiration in it.  I like the way it provides examples of the range of druidry, including Christian druids, pagan druids, people who see druidry as a religion, people who see druidry as cultural. 

For me, some ideas from the book that I might want to further meditate on or study:
  • Athelia Nihtscada's principles of ethical behavior
  • The idea of Earth, Trees, Sea, and Sky
  • Divination, with The Celtic Tree Oracle by Liz and Colin Murray
And I just want to keep reading books like this.  This book, and others I've read such as The Path Through the Forest, Druidry and the Ancestors, and Druidry and Meditation, are books were you can read a bit and then meditate on what you have read, and you can keep coming back to them.

Druidry is not a path were you read a book and then you are done.  

Names of my generation

When I was in school, the girls were named Amy, Jennifer, Lisa, Laura, Michelle, Kristen/Kristine/Kristina/Christine/Christina, Karen, Sharon, Cindy, Paula, Cheryl, Dawn, and Donna.

The boys were named Mark, Kevin, Steven/Stephen (called Steve), Eric, Jason, Brian, Andrew (called Andy), David, Todd, Robert (called Rob, Robby, Bob, or Bobby),  Michael (called Mike), Joseph (called Joe), Jeff, John, Sean/Shawn and James (called Jim).


Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Tired

The other day I thought, "I need a day off."

Then I realized, "It's Sunday.  This is as off as it gets."

This morning when the alarm went off, I groggily thought maybe the weekend would come soon.  Then I realized it's only Tuesday.