For the past year, I have been more tired than the preceding four years, although overall, I’ve been tired for 10 years, and in the past year, there have been some weeks here and there that were not so bad.
At times, I am so filled with being tired that it’s hard to talk about anything else, but I don’t like to talk about it, so mostly I just don’t associate with people. Of course, the other reason I don’t associate with people is because I’m too tired to do anything.
There are two reasons why I don’t like to talk to people about it. One is because of what people say. If you google “what not to say to people with chronic illness” you’ll get many different articles that all say basically the same things, and these are the things that people have been inundating me with for the past decade. Except I’ve managed to cut it back some by not talking to anyone.
The other reason I don’t like to talk to people about it is because it’s not what I want to be. It’s not who I am. I am outdoorsy, energetic, adventurous, and playful. I love skiing, hiking, rollerblading, and dancing. I have intelligence, wisdom, and compassion. I have good ideas. I do things to make the world better.
At least, that’s who I thought I was, but maybe that person is dead now.