This morning I read an article about Alex Carpenter. For a school assignment when she was 10, she was told to write an essay called "My Secret Ambition." She wrote about wanting to be an Olympic hockey player. Now she has been chosen for the 2014 Olympics.
As I read about her life, I wanted to have that kind of focus and ambition. I want to strive toward a goal, to pursue excellence. My problem is that I have a hundred goals, and lack the physical strength to achieve any of them.
How about I choose just one thing to focus on? Which one? There's my job and the three activities I'm involved in outside of my work. There's taking care of myself -- financial management, grocery shopping, cooking, tai chi, exercise, meditation, cleaning house, getting to bed on time. There's the project of finding a new job, but that seems insurmountable. There are the other community groups I'd like to get involved with, and the other projects I want to complete, such as compiling my family history information. I make lists of these things all the time. I make lists, and then I go read, because I'm too tired to do anything. What if I pick something that's small enough to be manageable, and really make a commitment to it? I was able to stick with the AODA program for two years, so I can follow through on things. I long for commitment. My problem is that I'm trying to be committed to a hundred things, and I fall apart under the pressure to do the impossible.