There was a visualization exercise in the paganism book I was reading. First you imagine that you put on glasses that cause you to think that everyone doesn't like you. Then you imagine that you put on glasses that cause you to think that everyone likes you. I learned two interesting things from it:
1) In my regular life, I operate as if I expect no one to like me.
2) When I imagined expecting everyone to like me, the biggest thing I noticed was that feeling not sick/not tired was a key ingredient of it.
The fatigue that has been on me since mono is sometimes like walking around carrying a refrigerator on my shoulders. I can pass for normal, i.e. I go to work and get my groceries, there's just this invisible fridge constantly weighing me down.
Except I've been getting better, and right now there is no fridge. Right now, I'm a bird soaring in the sky. With a fridge on my shoulders, it takes all my effort just to put one foot in front of the other. But now that that weight is lifted, I can fly. I can transform into that person who expects people to like her. I can engage in healthy activities, like learning, thinking, creating, and rollerblading.
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