Shaping nature or letting it run wild

I currently have four books out of the library. Three are about bonsai. I have been reading about the ideal shapes, and how to use wire, pruning, and re-potting in order to work toward creating bonsai trees that match one of the shapes that has been deemed ideal.

In contrast, in The Urban Homestead, Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen say (on page 40):

...bread dough made from wild yeasts and given time to raise slowly is a living thing. It is not cookie dough. Real bread dough crackles and pulses between your hands, full of invisible life. You want that kind of quality in your garden: full of crackling, invisible life and secret happenings. There's bugs in the soil, bees in the flowers, roots being formed, compost breaking down, all sorts of things you can't see going on, but you feel it. This kind of state comes in one way only -- by you doing as little as possible. When leaves fall, let them lay. They're mulching!....Are you getting the idea that your garden is not going to look like Martha Stewart's garden? Good.

I prefer the approach taken in The Urban Homestead. I think bonsai is not really for me.

God is Love

The song "God is love" by Steve Gillette says

God is love, only love
Nothing more, nothing less

The song also says

Stories of faith sustain us
As long as we don’t claim that they’re true

(For the full lyrics of the song, go to http://abouttheman.com/wp/the-music/ and search for "God is.")

I believe in love. Sometimes it helps to conceptualize an abstraction by telling stories about a God, or about many gods. I think this can be useful. Any mythology or theology which inspires us to live a life of love is good in my book.

Today, one of my Facebook friends posted the question, "what do you think of a secular humanist, non-deist, who is deeply, and profoundly spiritual?"

My reply: "I don't care what someone's theology is. Whether it's monotheism, polytheism, pantheism, humanism, atheism, etc. people have done good in the name of every religion, and people have done bad in the the name of every religion. If a person's theology moves them to hate, that is bad. If it moves them to love, that is good. Like Fred Small said, "the only measure of your words and your deeds will be the love you leave behind when you're done."

Druids as members of the intellectual caste

I think I got about 16 Christmas presents, of which about 8 were from my dad. Among the things he got me were two books about the history of druids. So far, I am partway through one of them, A Brief History of the Druids by Peter Berresford Ellis. One of the things this book says is that the Druids were the intellectual caste of the Celts, comparable to the Brahmins as the intellectual caste of the Hindus. (The book notes many similarities between the Celts and Hindus, indicating these peoples had common origins.)

Druidry means different things to different people, but I think that this is an important part of my own personal path. To me, Druids should collect and pass on knowledge and wisdom. If Druids are members of the intellectual caste, then the Druids of today are the teachers, librarians, and historians.

Getting involved in the community instead of taking classes

At the simple living group, a young woman gave a presentation about the time bank project she is starting. I don't know what she does for a living, but here she is active in the community, doing something with her life. Why don't I do that? When I try to figure out what to do with my life, I think of a new career field to try and take a class in it. Why don't I just do stuff -- jump in and get involved, and see where it leads me?

But then I remembered about getting tired and sick all the time. For the next three days after attending the simple living group, I lay on the couch whenever I didn't have to be at work. When I was at work, I had a lot of trouble focusing. I do think that I've caught a virus, and it's not solely that the simple living meeting wore me out, but the reality is that when I do something a little extra, whether it's go to a simple living meeting or spend an hour gardening, it's not unusual for me to feel sick for a few days after. I'm doing better than I was four years ago, but I still have to keep reminding myself that all these enthusiastic thoughts about all the things I want to get involved in need to be tempered by reality.

So, don't beat myself up for not being the young woman at the simple living meeting who is organizing projects in our community. I have to live with the bounds of what I've got. But within the bounds of what I've got, I can think about how best to use what time and energy I have, and maybe thinking of this young woman will provide some inspiration, by reminding me that there are other things that can be done besides taking classes.

Holidays today and tomorrow

I did not really observe Thanksgiving, but today I am observing Buy Nothing Day, and tomorrow I will observe Small Business Saturday.

What I want: a community that shares my values

In my town, there is a simple living group that meets once a month. At each meeting, a speaker presents about a topic of interest, and there is discussion time when they go around the circle and each person talks about how they are doing on trying to live simply. I recently joined this group and have attended their two most recent meetings. I'm excited about being part of this group. It made me realize that what I've always wanted is to be a part of a community that shares my values, to be working toward something in community with others who are working toward the same thing. I loved my job when I first started it because that's what it was. When that changed is when I became unhappy at my job. I think more important to me than what task I'm doing is whether I'm doing it for a purpose I believe in, and in support of a community I believe in.

For the long-term, I can continue to seek a job in a community that shares my values. In the meantime, within my workplace I can seek out people who share my values, and try to work with them to build a community that expresses those values. (That is, to work toward our shared purpose of serving students and treating all with respect, as opposed to the institutional culture that the purpose of faculty is to bring in wealth and prestige, and that staff and students are useful when they contribute to that goal, but otherwise, when they call for teaching or advising, they are an unwanted distraction.)

I think it would be useful to develop that habit of seeking out likeminded people and building community with them, regardless of the prevailing climate.

But I also can't forget the goal of finding a better place. I have a tendency to think that I should make it, regardless of circumstances. I try to do everything I'm supposed to do even when I'm sick. Then I get healthy, and it's amazing how much easier it becomes to do things. I don't have to spend my life fighting uphill battles. Tying in with yesterday's post about working with nature, I don't have to try to garden in the desert. I need to seek out fertile soil for my endeavors, and I need to choose aspirations which match the soil I've got.

Working with nature

I don't want to follow the approach of conquest of the earth -- build bigger houses, bigger roads, fly in airplanes all the time, own many cars. Nor do I want to live in the wilderness, with no shelter or clothing other than what I find in the woods. What I want to do is to work with nature, to create the life that I want in a way that respects nature. For example, in gardening, we work with the laws of nature to coax the growth of the plants we wish to cultivate.

With my health, the conquest approach would be to fill myself with caffeine and medications, to try to keep going regardless of what may be happening in my body. The wilderness approach would be to let sickness run wild. Neither is what I want. I want to work with nature to make my health what I want it to be. I want to give my body the rest, exercise, and nutrients which best suit it, just as I try to give my garden crops the soil, water, and sunlight which best suit them. When sick, I want to do things that will drive away the illness. I want to work with nature to grow my health.

In figuring out what to do with my life, I have to realize that it's not realistic to do everything I dream of. My aspirations are many times larger than my time and energy. I also have to accept that I have a certain temperament and certain abilities. There are some things that would be cool to do, but they just aren't for me to do. But that does not mean I am just stuck with who I am right now. I can learn new skills. I respect the nature of who I am, but within that, I can shape my life to what I want it to be, just as within the laws of nature, I shape my garden and my health.