New clothes

I liked the pants I bought, and was happy to be wearing them for the first time.  I had told my friend about them, but he did not comment when he saw me.  "Like my pants?" I asked.

Of course, he wouldn't.  His taste is not the same as mine. 

But he knew how to respond.

"They're very Terra-like," he said.

Not bored for a change

This morning at work, I worked on something that wasn't boring.  It was so refreshing, to work on something and just keep on thinking about it, instead of having my brain keep bouncing off everything I was trying to do.

Yellow lights

A few weeks ago when I was giving my friend a ride, he commented, "You are different from people around here.  Normally when people see a yellow light, they see that as a sign to step on the accelerator, not the brake."

Seasoned

I like people who are old enough to be seasoned.  People who:

• Have been rejected.
• Have known loss.
• Have experienced health problems.
• Know that even if you work hard, you may not be able to make all your dreams come true.
• Cherish others for who they are, knowing that an ideal person does not exist.
• Know the value of tact, rather than glorifying uncensored self-expression.

Tired

I'm so tired. I can't do this. How can I live like this? It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to have a chance to live my life.  

Perspective on a day off

Acquaintance: Did you have a good day off?

Me: Well, not really.  I took a day off to get some chores done, but I didn't do anything.  I just lay around and relaxed.

Acquaintance (jokingly): You relaxed on your day off?! How terrible!  I won't be your friend any more. 

Acquaintance: Did you read?

Me: Yes.  But I wasn't planning to read, so I didn't have any new books.  I read some books that I've read before.

Acquaintance: Oh horrors!

It's nice to have someone put things in perspective for me, so I don't feel so bad about how I spent the day.

Tact

My friend: For someone who's half space alien, your English is not too bad.

Me: That's not a compliment.

My friend: Well I gotta do something.  You said I was tactful the other night.  I have to uphold my reputation for obnoxiousness. 

Unfocused

The doctor said maybe I have ADHD.  Is that why I never get anywhere?

I don't read nonfiction books much.  I  mean, when I have them, I just read a few pages and then I lose interest.

I do read alumni magazines.  I get them from five schools, of which I read four.  I read about doctors, lawyers, professors.  I was the peer of these people, and now I am so far behind them.

In one such magazine, there's a tribute to a former college president who passed away.  He went to college, then before finishing, joined the Peace Corps and worked in India. After working in India for a few years, he returned to college.  A professor who taught him said, "Tom came back invigorated in every way from his Peace Corps experience.  In India, he found what he wanted to do in life."

Have I ever found what I wanted to do in life? I've had moments when I thought I did, but such moments never last.

I went to a concert last night.  A flamenco guitarist and a percussionist.  Both are very skilled.  It takes practice to be so skilled.  I've never been focused enough to develop skill at anything.

I like dancing, skiing, rollerblading, folk music, trees.  I have skill at none of them.

For 30 years, it has been my dream to do research on social problems.  I have done nothing.