Home. First time in my life I am not sleeping at my mother's house Christmas Eve and waking up the next day to spend Christmas with her. I was planning to, but I was sick instead. I'm not upset right now because I anticipate that I will still be able to see everyone, just a few days late.
There are times when I'm half sick, and I'm pushing myself to act like a normal person. Those times are hard. But there are time when I'm sick enough that I know my job is to stay in bed, run the vaporizer, and drink tea, and I'm okay with that.
One thing that I do worry is that people will see me as the one who is always sick, always complaining about being tired, always skipping out on social events. That they'll think it's just my personality. I think I used to believe that when I was young and healthy. I used to look down on people who complained of health problems.
It's not who I am inside. It's just something that's visiting me. Who I am is smart, funny, adventurous, playful, bold, silly, loyal.
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