Still trying to figure out who I am

Sometimes it seems that I am the opposite of who I used to be. I used to be idealistic. Now I am bitter and cynical. I used to want to save the world. Now I can't even save myself. I used to be energetic and loved climbing mountains, skiing, and rollerblading. Now I am tired and just want to stay home and rest. I used to love being surrounded by friends. Now I am a hermit. I try to avoid being around people. I don't like most people.

But I still love the same songs I've loved for as long as I can remember. I still love to dance, like I have for as long as I can remember. I still love the outdoors, like I have for as long as I can remember. I still love the same books I loved 20 years ago. I do like some people, and I'm still drawn to the same traits that I've been drawn to in the past.

I'm still the same person. But two weights press upon me. One is the weight of fatigue. The other is the weight of my job. It is because I live under these weights that I just want to stay home, rest, and be by myself whenever I get the chance.