Caffeine

Weekdays I work (or sit in the office trying to work). Weekday evenings and weekends, I collapse at home. As I lie around and watch bad TV, I think about how I wish I had the energy to do something better with my time. I know it's too much to hope to be able to ski, hike, take dance classes, rollerblade, learn home renovation, or go to concerts, but I'd like to at least be able to read nonfiction, cook dinner, pay my bills, and prepare playlists. It was this sentiment that drove me on Sunday to decide, "This is no way to live. I'm going to resort to caffeine." I used to never have caffeine. In the past few years, caffeine has been the only thing that has helped me, but I've tried to have it only when necessary. Now I've had caffeine every day for three days. It has allowed me to achieve that level of mellow at-home functionality which I described as reading nonfiction, cooking dinner, paying my bills, and preparing playlists. I don't want to rely on caffeine, but the life I have without it is no way to live.